Aretha Franklin started the conversation, let's continue

R-E-S-P-E-C-T. I never really understood the phrase “respect your elders”. I’ve always been taught that respect is something that has to be earned, that you have to work for. But I don’t really understand that either. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. I never really understood the phrase “respect your elders”. I’ve always been taught that respect is something that has to be earned, that you have to work for. But I don’t really understand that either. To me, respect is a basic human right. It’s something that we should all have the privilege of experiencing from the moment we are born. You are expected to respect boundaries, you are expected to treat someone with decency, you are expected to communicate with people as if you are equals. And I don’t feel like there are levels of respect either. You either respect someone, or you don’t, and I don’t think age should be a factor in that.

I see all these stories in the news about bad parenting, and I think it all boils down to parents not giving their children the respect they are entitled to. When we treat children like their opinions don’t matter, and raise them to believe that they are not as good as someone else, then is it really fair of us to question why so many of them grow up with self-esteem issues? I’m not saying that every child with self-esteem issues is a product of a lack of mutual understanding and respect, but certainly a large proportion of them indirectly are.

Now it comes to loss of respect. Loss of respect is something you earn. It’s something that happens to you when you disregard the interests of those around you. It happens to you when you intentionally harm someone or something else, be it for personal gain or not. It happens to you when you believe that you are superior to others. So let’s end this notion that not all of us are entitled to respect, or that we must respect one person more than another. All decent human beings have an innate right to be respected.

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Written in stone?

I think people are afraid of permanence. People get cold feet before weddings because they’re afraid of being with one person permanently. They’re afraid of getting piercings and tattoos because they’re permanent. They’re afraid of having kids because they’re going to become a permanent fixture in their lives. To be honest with you, I’m terrified of permanence. I think people are afraid of permanence. People get cold feet before weddings because they’re afraid of being with one person permanently. They’re afraid of getting piercings and tattoos because they’re permanent. They’re afraid of having kids because they’re going to become a permanent fixture in their lives. To be honest with you, I’m terrified of permanence. I can’t think of a single career that I’d be happy to do for the rest of my life, I can’t think of a single place I want to settle down, I can’t think of being with one person forever. It all just seems too ... permanent. But on the other hand, maybe I’m just afraid because I haven’t found the one career, the one place, the one person that I’d want to settle down with forever. Maybe I’m just waiting for a calling, something that brings me such immense joy when I think of it that I can’t imagine not doing it. Something that I’m so passionate about that doing it forever doesn’t seem like long enough.

But then there also becomes the issue of dependence. The more permanent something is in your life, the more dependent you are on them. They become your defining points, they make up your personality, they become a part of you. For a while, I avoided dependence like the plague. I thought it was a sign of weakness, a sign of not being self-sufficient. But I know now that is usually not the case.

There’s no problem with being dependent on something or someone, everyone is. Maybe you’re dependent on your parents for their support and guidance. Maybe you’re dependent on school for giving you something to work towards, a goal. Maybe you’re dependent on your friends to get you out of a slump. All of that is completely fine. The only problem is when the thing you’re dependent on is toxic. When you’re dependent on drugs, or a bad habit, or an abusive parent. If your dependency takes more than it gives, that’s when you know something’s wrong. But then again, getting out of something like that is easier said than done. Regardless, something has to change.

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Soul Mates or Sole Mate?

I’m apprehensive of the theory of soul mates. There’s a myth that says that humans started off as double of our current selves. We had four arms, two heads, four legs, etc. Zeus, fearing our power, sent down a lightning bolt to split us all in two, sending our halves flying in opposite directions. Since then, we’ve all been looking for our other half... I’m apprehensive of the theory of soul mates. There’s a myth that says that humans started off as double of our current selves. We had four arms, two heads, four legs, etc. Zeus, fearing our power, sent down a lightning bolt to split us all in two, sending our halves flying in opposite directions. Since then, we’ve all been looking for our other half, waiting to be complete again. But that myth makes no sense to me, if we all truly had a perfect half, then why do some people prefer being alone than with anyone? Why are some people aromantic or asexual? Do you see the problem with that story? On top of that, in a world with eight billion people and counting, what are the odds that you find the one person that you were destined to be with?

So, I propose a new theory. There’s no such thing as soul mates. Instead, every person that you have a connection with impacts your life in one way or another (positively or negatively). Some of these impacts are so strong that you can feel yourself becoming a different person, more complete. And more than one person can make you feel that way, they can complement you perfectly.

Or maybe soul mates do exist, but they’re not always romantic partners. Maybe it’s your best friend, or your sibling, or your parent, or even your pet. A soul mate is whoever motivates you to be the best version of yourself. But the people who are truly blessed are those that don’t need a soul mate. They are the best version of themselves by their own accord, all of their motivation is innate, and they feel complete all on their own.

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